I used to

I used to often isolate myself in difficult moments when I actually needed help and others the most.

I used to always sever connections with anyone, anything, including myself, at the time when connection was most needed.

I used to always bear all burdens and problems on my own shoulders, resolving them without anyone's help, when my mind and body were barely strong enough to endure it.

I used to often reject feelings of love and affection when I needed them the most.

I used to often reject success, ease, and opportunities when I was capable of soaring high very quickly with all of that.

I used to often beg for love, chase after those who rejected me, cling to things that didn't appreciate me, when there were so much love, kindness, and good opportunities present that I actually turned away.

I unconsciously often neglected and sabotaged myself from all the ease, happiness, success, abundance, and wealth. Yes, that was then. Now, I choose differently.